Less Jess?

Not long ago I spoke at an event and caused some controversy. No, not because of something I said, taught, or did. Because of how I look. Because someone looked at me and made assumptions about me, decided I was something that I am not, labeled me and therefore deemed me unworthy to stand behind a microphone and teach the gospel.

Now, this is not the first time this has happened in my life, nor, I am certain, will it be the last. I’ve spent a lifetime being weird and different. I was six years old the first time I recall being told that something was wrong with me, that I was broken just by being. Needless to say, I have pretty thick skin at this point with regards to my weirdness.

It’s still frustrating, sure, to be misunderstood. I’d be lying if I said that I didn’t have thoughts like, “Maybe I should try to be more normal. Maybe I should hide my uniqueness a bit. Maybe I should grow my hair out or wear pretty dresses or be more traditionally feminine. Maybe I should… be less Jess.”

Be less Jess.

Hmmm. Is that what the Lord would ask of me?

I can certainly cherry pick some verses to seemingly fortify that belief. I could spout, “More of Him and less of me!” citing John 3:30. Oh, but wait a second, if I actually read that passage, I find that it’s actually about John the Baptist saying his ministry is ending as Jesus’ messiah ministry begins.

What if, God actually designed me intentionally, to be Jess? Fully Jess. Jess at max volume. What if He made me who I am on purpose? What if, maybe, just maybe, He wants to use what the world doesn’t understand because that’s kind of His whole MO (1 Cor 1:26-29). And what if that’s true for you too?

The fact of the matter is, there are exponentially more instances in my ministry where God uses my weirdness to draw people in than there are of people being upset by it. The enemy doesn’t like me remembering that though, does He?

You and I have a choice to make. We can either be distracted by humans’ misunderstanding of us or we can be confident that God meant what He said when He called us a masterpiece (Eph 2:10).

Which sounds more like the Lord’s heart to you?